I started this website to share the story of how Linda’s music saved my life back in 1979.  Before I begin the story I would like to bestow some background information on my childhood. I would like to state upfront that I am not doing this to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just think I need to shed a little light on my state of mind back then.

My father ( may he rest in peace ) was extremely negative, and both physically and mentally abusive. He was an alcoholic in those days, and sometimes he even beat my mother. You can only imagine the egg shells that my family walked on each day. My mother, brother, and my sister all had their own ways of dealing with this nightmare. My personal escape from this hell was through drug and alcohol abuse. From the age of 15 until I was 21, there was not a day that that went by where I did not get drunk, high, or both. I thought drugs and alcohol were the only way I could escape reality. When I look back, I thank god I drew the line at using a needle.

One afternoon when I was 17 some drug-buddies and I were partying and throwing Frisbees when a song came over my boom box that changed my life. The song was “Heat Wave” by Linda Ronstadt, but I did not know the artist. I remember telling everybody to shut-up until the song was over. I had goose-bumps on every square inch of my body, and all my hair was standing on end. I had never heard such a beautiful voice in my life, and I still feel that way to this day. When the song ended I asked the gang “Who in the hell was that?” They laughed and said “That was Linda Ronstadt, where have you been?” They laughed even harder when I said “Anybody got a Q-Tip? I think I just had an eargasm!” I knew at that moment I just had to get some of her albums. When I look back at that afternoon the saying “Everything happens for a reason” always comes to mind.

That night I made it to a record store and was shocked to find her “Greatest Hits” album. I could not believe that she already had a greatest hits album, and I had just heard my first Linda Ronstadt song that day. Where had I been?  I don’t remember how many times I played the album that night, but I do remember being surprised at myself for liking the slow torch songs as much as the fast rocking ones. I was a hard-core Led Zeppelin fan up until that night, but not anymore.

Linda’s music touched my heart in a way that nothing else ever had- it still does. To this day the only times I have ever shed tears of happiness were while listening to Linda’s music. Needless to say I was hooked. Within the next two months I bought all the rest of Linda’s albums, and fell in love with every song. Her music became my escape ( almost ) from drugs and alcohol. I had to listen to at least one album side every night just to get to sleep. Linda’s music, voice, and beauty became the only good, pure, and honest things in my life. 

My father’s abuse and my drug and alcohol addiction never stopped, and on one very bad day when I was 20 I made my one and only attempt at suicide. I have repressed the events that led up to it, but I remember the act vividly. I was sitting at my desk in my bedroom with my custom .44 Magnum revolver in my hands. I remember pulling back the hammer and slowly putting the barrel in my mouth, placing the muzzle at the back of my throat. Just before pulling the trigger, I took one last look around my room. My eyes stopped at my Linda Ronstadt poster. It is the same poster that I have a picture of on this website. Now I know what she is really doing in that pose, but on that day it looked like she was praying for me to not kill myself.

That’s when it hit me- if I committed suicide, I would never get to hear her sing again. I would never get to feel the anticipation of what the new songs would be on the next album. I would never again get to press my nose against the window of the local record store on the morning of her new release, looking for the Linda Ronstadt display. Never again would I be the first one at the cash register with two copies of the new album, one to wear-out in a few months, and one to cherish for as long as I could. Never would I see her live in concert again. All the things that I held so near and dear to my heart would be lost forever.

That’s when I carefully lowered the hammer on the gun, slowly removed the barrel from my mouth, and wept. I spent the rest of the day listening to every Linda Ronstadt album I owned over and over again.

Now I think every true Linda Ronstadt fan can agree on one thing- she sings with the voice of an angel. I think of Linda as my personal guardian angel. Her music saw me through my darkest hour, and for that I thank her. To sum up my feelings for Linda and her music I am going to use a few lines from one of my very favorite songs of hers- “I think of you every morning, dream of you every night. Darling I’m never lonely whenever your in sight. I love you for sentimental reasons. I hope you do believe me, I’ve given you my heart.”

Arthur J. Vickner